The Best Sex Ever Contest!
I’ve been thinking on what amazing sex really is. For me, it’s not about positions (shh!) or anything like that, but elements both subtle and sublime. It’s seeing or feeling raw desire and being willing to follow that whether it takes you. It’s fleetings moment of incredibly deep connection, like when you look in someone’s eyes as they slide inside you and you think you see the universe there. (More likely just dilated pupils due to arousal, but still. Allow me my poetry.)
For me, the best sex is also about filling up the hole inside. Not the obvious one, though that goes a long way toward doing the trick, but more the metaphorical hole. The one where you don’t feel quite whole or at peace. Some people fill it with God, but my brain didn’t come equipped with those religious receptors, so my God hole is more like a sex hole. Which sounds plenty dirty, not to mention probably highly blasphemous.
In discussing the “problems” of sex in How to Think More About Sex, School of Life co-founder/semi-depressive Brit Alain de Botton writes, “Great sex, like happiness more generally, may be the precious and sublime exception. During our most fortunate encounters, it is rare for us to appreciate how privileged we are. It is only as we get older, and look back repeatedly and nostalgically to a few erotic episodes, that we start to realize with what stinginess nature extends her gifts to us–and therefore what an extraordinary and rare achievement of biology, psychology and timing satisfying sex really it.”
Most sex, then, is just about filling your regular old biological holes. And as it happens, I have something for you today that does just that. That is:
The Best Sex Ever Contest
Your task: Tell me what your best sex ever was and why. You can write a big ol porny essay that may or may not gross me out or just a sentence like “the look on his face the first time I put my mouth on him” or whatever. Winning entries won’t be chosen on “quality” (we’re all different), but just chosen by a random drawing.
Your (Possible) Prize
–A Helix Syn, a hands-free prostate/male G-spot massager, courtesy of Aneros, who kindly sent me two of them. It’s a training tool to encourage super deep prostate orgasms. It’s like an $80 value and looks like this:
–An Aneros Evi, the female counterpart that is a hands-free g-spot/clitoral stimulator. Again, battery free and you squeeze around it–kind of an exercise, kind of a way to get off. The idea is strengthening your responsiveness rather that just blasting your nether regions with vibrations. It’s about $55 and looks like this:
|Put me in your God hole|
How to Enter
Send me your best sex ever and tell me which prize you’re gunning for via comment below or super secret email to email@example.com. If you do send me something via email that’s good and doesn’t skeeve me out, I may post it, but I will give you a pseudonym so no one knows you really really liked it that one time someone put a wee bonnet on you and called you a filthy little whore. Get your entries in by April 12, 2017.
You’ll get an extra entry for sharing this contest on social media or just telling someone via old school conversation. Just let me know, and I’ll put you in extra.
So get thinking about your best sex ever, as though you weren’t already doing that, and enter and share.
Love you. Not in a creepy way.*