I’m exchanging sexy texts with a copper as my girlfriend has gone cold
I AM exchanging sexy texts with a girl at work and it’s the hottest sex I have these days.
My girlfriend lets me make a fuss of her and promises me sex but once we get to bed she says no and turns her back on me.
We met at a work-related conference.
I am a detective in the CID and she is a manager at the conference venue.
I am 30, she is 28.
There was some chemistry between us and we started seeing each other.
We had sex on our second date and then we could not keep our hands off each other.
Sex was so good that we decided to move in together.
Shortly afterwards, things started to go downhill.
She suffered from anxiety and went off sex.
She has recovered but the sex has not.
In fact, it became dire.
We have sex once every couple of months, if I’m lucky.
We can go for weeks without it.
I’ve tried taking her on dates, massages, candles, kissing her how she likes.
We set time aside for a romantic evening and then sex but, when it comes down to it, she says she is not in the mood and that I should stop pressurising her.
This has led to arguments and she says that if I don’t like it, I should leave.
We both have stressful jobs but she barely lifts a finger at home.
I sometimes work 12-hour shifts and she expects me to make dinner and bring her drinks when I get home.
She happily spends all weekend in bed while I wait on her hand and foot.
She promises sex but it never happens.
I cheated on her once but I felt so guilty I vowed not to do it again.
However, I have met a new girl at work recently — a PC — and we have started texting.
It’s been very intense from the outset.
Our colleagues have noticed the spark and keep commenting.
We text each other 150 times a day and have sent very suggestive pictures.
She is 25 and adamant that nothing will happen while I still have a girlfriend but if I were single we could make a go of things.
Should I try to make things work with my girlfriend or break it off and see where things go with this other girl?
DEIDRE SAYS: Your girlfriend’s anxiety and the medication for it could have affected her sex drive but it is not fair of her to promise sex, let you wait on her hand and foot, and then say no.
Think why you have written to me rather than just ending it with her.
If you feel strongly about her, it will be worth trying to sort things out.
Tell her that you are not happy with meaningless promises about sex which she never fulfils.
Ask her to try the tips in my e-leaflet Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive.
If she will not give this a go, there is little chance of putting it right but at least you will know you tried your best.
You cannot make the relationship right unless she wants to as well.
If you decide to give things a go with this other girl, take your time to give it the best chance.
MY boyfriend is working abroad and has confessed to cheating.
I want to hate him but I just can’t.
We have been dating for six months.
I am 21, he is 23.
When we got together, he told me he had just signed a contract to work abroad for two years.
We thought we would finish then but we fell in love and decided to make a long-distance relationship work.